Day 24: Challenge

Jul 9

I almost feel too drained to write about challenge tonight, so posting this reflection is a challenge in itself (so meta). The past few months have been perhaps the most challenging in my lifetime, and I know that many others would say the same. We’re in the midst of a collective trauma, one that we’ll be healing for some time to come.

On top of the global challenges of COVID and racial injustice, there is the personal challenge (read: chaos) of running a household with two young children and too many pets, working full-time, and doing creative side projects. As I started writing this post, one of the cats suddenly upended a potted plant onto the living room floor. I'm so tired that I'm just ignoring it, hoping the soil spill will magically reverse itself and hop neatly back into the pot.

I’m a big fan of challenges that are just for fun, like brain teasers, puzzles, and games. I’m much less keen on life challenges, especially the kind that come out of nowhere and turn your life upside down. Even if I KNOW they’re character-building, I greet them less with a “git ‘er done” approach than “freak out and fall apart.” Eventually, often begrudgingly, I’ll piece myself back together and get on with it.

It’s when I coach my kids through their challenges that I have to start taking my own sage advice. When Avery gets frustrated learning to write the letters of the alphabet, I point out how she gets closer and closer each time she tries. When Evan struggles with new Kung Fu moves, I tell him that everyone starts as a beginner, and the only way to mastery is practice. When either of the kids whines that something’s wrong, I ask them (after reminding them that WE DO NOT WHINE), “How can we solve that problem?” Each time, I’m 100 percent aware that when I’m advising my kids, I’m also advising myself.

It’s important to Darren and me to teach our children to develop grit, to persevere and know they can prevail no matter how hard the work may be. It’s important to me to learn that, too -- to know that I can handle whatever challenge comes my way.

Even though my anxiety can paralyze me temporarily, in my core I believe Marie Forleo’s motto, “Everything is figureoutable.” Yes, even COVID. Scientists are understanding more about it all the time and are getting closer to developing a vaccine. Other countries have contained it (crazy idea here, but what if we followed their lead?!).

We WILL get through this extraordinary challenge; there will be an “after this.” In the meantime, we can do our best to cope, find the little moments of joy and gratitude, compassionately pick up the pieces when we fall apart, and take care of ourselves and each other.

* How I’ve evolved: Being aware of how unexpected challenges trigger my anxiety; remembering that action is the antidote to anxiety and finding little ways to improve the situation.

* How I’m evolving: Developing grit and problem-solving skills, believing that everything is figureoutable and that I can figure it out.

Links:

- Marie Forleo, Everything Is Figureoutable: https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/05/everything-is-figureoutable/

- Angela Duckworth, Grit: https://angeladuckworth.com/grit-book/

- PBS News, These Countries Contained Coronavirus; Here’s What the US Can Learn

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/these-countries-tamed-coronavirus-heres-what-the-u-s-can-learn

If you’d like to join me for The Evolving 40:

- All are welcome. Jump in at any time.

- On the daily theme, think: “How have I evolved? How am I evolving?”

- Length and format are up to you.

- Post in the comments below or on your own social with the hashtag #evolving40.

- Whatever comes up is what’s meant to be.