Interview with Kristen Carder on the I Have ADHD Podcast
If you’re coming to the site after hearing my interview with the fabulous Kristen Carder on the I Have ADHD podcast, welcome! Kristen is my ADHD coach in the Focused membership group, and we talk about the concept of pardoning your past selves in order to evolve. It's not easy to do as a perfectionist, but possible with practice! Find the interview here.
Here’s a quick life update and my thoughts as an evolving perfectionist listening to myself being interviewed.
I started this site last summer to write 40 reflective essays leading up to my 40th birthday. My plan to continue writing about healing perfectionism was interrupted a month later when I was identified as having ADHD. I talk in Kristen’s podcast and my own about how it came as a complete surprise and consumed my hyperfocus for the next few months. My son was identified, as well, so we’ve been on this journey together.
I learned that ADHD often manifests in perfectionism, an attempt to manage the inconsistency of attention and impulsivity — which can then contribute to anxiety and depression when our results are miles from perfect (which does not actually exist).
Listening to my interview today, I felt:
proud of myself for stepping up even though I’m more comfortable writing than speaking (especially when I can’t edit my own recording!)
astounded by the number of “you know?“s and upspeak that I was not even aware I was using 🤦♀️
hopeful that what I shared openly will resonate with people, in all of its beautiful messiness
Ultimately, I get to decide what this interview means about me. I could focus on how I tend to channel my inner teenager when the spotlight is on me (soooo many “likes” and “One time? At band camp?”s), or I could focus on the thoughts I shared with honesty and enthusiasm and hope that my own imperfection encourages for other people to show up imperfectly, too. I’m choosing the latter.
You cannot evolve without making mistakes. As Kristen says, “B minus work can change the world,” and I hope that the takeaways will shine through the few (dozen) verbal tics.
The funniest part is that, as usual, I’m needing to take my own advice and pardon myself — this time for not being as fluid a speaker as I’d like to be (yet). Used more filler words in the interview than you would have liked? Pardoned!
I’ll be updating this site more often in the coming weeks. I’m also collecting the Evolving 40 essays into a book with interactive content for those who want to reflect on how they’ve evolved — especially as a life milestone approaches.
I’m excited to connect with my fellow perfectionists and/or ADHDers, so I’d love for you to say hey via email or Instagram. 💕
