Day 39: Legacy
#Evolving40 Day 39: Legacy
In spite of all the flights I’ve taken, I still feel my heart beating faster and my body tensing during each takeoff. As the plane speeds down the runway and the wheels lift off the ground, I squeeze my eyes shut, grip the armrests, and think to myself, “Have I lived a good life? Am I at peace if this is it?”
This may be “just a little dramatic,” as Darren and I joke about my penchant for extremes, but it does give me a high-stakes moment to reflect on whether I’d be leaving a legacy that would make me proud.
Though I always pray that I'll have a safe flight and keep on living, my answer has always been yes. In those moments, when I quickly scan through my memory, I know that I've always done the best I can to leave the world better than I found it.
As I've gotten older, and especially during this uncertain time of COVID, I've come to understand that no one is guaranteed anything but this moment. For me, that’s been a transformative lesson in not postponing joy. I don’t want to scrimp now so I can live well in my retirement; I don’t want to work 60-hour weeks now to afford me more flexibility with my family later. Yes, it’s prudent to plan for the future, but not at the expense of the present. This is our one wild and precious life, and we are building our legacy with every passing day.
I keep a “hype file” or “smile file” in a Google Doc of kind things people say about the difference I’ve made to them, to read when I need a boost of confidence or joy. I’ve captured plenty of the comments that you all have left on my 3 Good Things and Evolving 40 posts. Nothing fills my soul more than knowing that something I’ve said has helped you feel more seen, more normal, and less alone.
It makes me proud to think that the words that I’ve written will live beyond me. The same thing is true of whatever gifts you’ve contributed to the world: art, music, children, meaningful memories, changes to cityscapes and power structures, and even the trajectory of people’s lives (I’m looking at you, teachers).
I’m far enough into my life now that I’m able to see where the students I’ve taught and mentored have ended up, and I am so proud of every one of them and the part I played in their development, however big or small. I feel the same way about my kids when they mirror back a lesson I’ve taught them about kindness or gratitude. Goodness knows, it took five solid years of prompting Evan to say thank you before he did it on his own!
I hope part of my legacy is encouraging people to be more of their authentic selves, and to learn to accept and eventually love the people they are at their core. We all deserve people in our lives whom we can’t hide from, no matter how hard we might try, and who love us even better once they know our foibles and idiosyncrasies.
If we can all pretend less and tell the truth more, we’ll free up so much energy to love more wholeheartedly and create more bravely. And that will help us leave a legacy that makes us proud.
* How I’ve evolved: Focusing on making the most of the present and not putting it off until some unknown time in the future.
* How I’m evolving: As part of my self-acceptance practice, truly honoring my contributions instead of shrugging them off as if they were nothing.
Links:
- “What Is Legacy?”, by Susan V. Bosak, Legacy Project: www.legacyproject.org/guides/whatislegacy.html
- "The Summer Day," by Mary Oliver: https://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/133.html
- On the hype file: “What Trick Helps Marie Forleo Achieve Her Goals? Everything Is Figureoutable Author Talks Imposter Syndrome, Burnout”: https://parade.com/921259/brittany_galla/marie-forleo-everything-is-figureoutable-interview
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You’re welcome to join me anytime for The Evolving 40. On the daily theme, think: “How have I evolved? How am I evolving?”
Post in the comments below or on your own social with the hashtag #evolving40. Whatever comes up is what’s meant to be.
