Day 33: Service
#Evolving40 Day 33: Service
I feel fortunate that from the time I was young, my parents instilled in me the value of being of service to others. Both worked in service professions -- my mom in religious education at our Catholic church, and my dad at his own auto repair shop -- and I could see how much both of them lit up at the chance to be helpful to someone else.
Throughout my childhood, we donated funds, canned goods, and clothing. One of my favorite Christmas traditions was fulfilling gift requests from the local Angel Tree; it felt magical that my sister and I could each make the wish of a child our age come true.
Volunteering -- tutoring kids in reading and older adults in English as a Second Language -- developed my patience and compassion. Through my alma mater, Santa Clara University, I was able to coach adults who were taking their U.S. citizenship exams and mentor a high school student with a challenging family life. I spent a spring break helping a family in Tijuana build a home, which gave me a deep and visceral awareness of my privilege that I’ve carried with me ever since.
Thinking back on it now, service was so embedded in my education and family culture, as well as part of my personality as an INFJ / Enneagram 1, that I took it for granted as a part of my everyday life. What a gift that was, one that I'm committed to giving to my own children.
Once I graduated, I felt drawn to mission-driven work in education, youth programs, and public service. Darren’s and my marketing firm works with clients who are serving the public good in some way, and often in transformative ways such as race relations, community health, and LGBTQ rights. Knowing that we are fueling positive social change keeps us invested in what we do.
I believe my own highest contribution is to heal my own perfectionism and help others heal theirs, thereby unlocking our unique gifts. Those gifts aren't doing any good buried inside us under layers of fear and self-criticism, but set free, they become powerful forces for good in the world.
Service has untold ripple effects on the people and the communities we serve, and it also benefits our own health and happiness. Endorphins contribute to “helper’s high,” make us feel connected to each other, and lower stress, anxiety, and depression.
Right now our country needs our contributions more than ever. It’s up to us to honor the deaths of civil rights leaders John Lewis and Rev. C.T. Vivian by getting in “good trouble” and continuing their fight of injustice without violence. Lewis suffered attacks of tear gas and a skull fracture from billy clubs marching for Black voting rights; he was arrested 40 times during the civil rights movement and five while a member of Congress. I think the rest of us can manage the sacrifice of wearing a damn mask when we leave the house.
Many of us with a heart for service and justice are feeling baffled and appalled by those who are putting their needs first, at the great expense of others. But if the service-oriented can mask up and social distance, give to progressive change organizations, stand up against injustice, and VOTE, we can honor the words etched on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty:
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
* How I’ve evolved: Understanding my greatest passion: Helping perfectionists like me serve others better by healing their own self-judgment.
* How I’m evolving: Continuing to educate myself on antiracism and social justice issues so I’m better equipped to contribute where I’m most needed.
Links:
The US loses two icons of the civil rights movement in one day: https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/18/us/john-lewis-ct-vivian-dead/index.html
John Lewis profile in the NY Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/17/us/john-lewis-dead.html
The Happiness Lab podcast: Help others to help yourself: https://www.happinesslab.fm/coronavirus-bonus-episodes/episode-5-help-others-to-help-yourself
TIME: The Secret to Happiness Is Helping Others: https://time.com/collection/guide-to-happiness/4070299/secret-to-happiness/
Pure altruism - the connection that explains why we help strangers: https://theconversation.com/pure-altruism-the-connection-that-explains-why-we-help-strangers-120693
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You’re welcome to join me anytime for The Evolving 40. On the daily theme, think: “How have I evolved? How am I evolving?”
Post in the comments below or on your own social with the hashtag #evolving40. Whatever comes up is what’s meant to be.
